Musings from the Shower
by pixie blue
Summary: Plot bunnies can - and will - strike at the oddest of times... Like when you're in the shower. Some hopefully humorous drabbles, each ranging 100-200 words, starring our favourite grim Ranger and his protégé, with appearances from the rest of the RA cast.
1. At the Next Exit, Take the Right Turn

A/N: So, some of these will be funny, some won't. These are all ideas I got in the shower, so some might seem a bit odd, but you know. Just tell me if you like 'em, and I'll keep posting. :)

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"Which way now, Ranger Halt?" The expectant face of the young commander looked down at him from his perch on a roan battle horse.

"There is only one path through here, and it is treacherous in the extreme," Halt replied gravely. "I shall lead the way."

They cantered off, Halt in the lead. "We're almost there." Halt frowned at his map. "Okay, it's left... No, right, past those hills, I'll make sure we aren't attacked from behind." He saluted and the men urged their horses on.

The commander and several of the senior officers behind him suddenly plunged over a cliff. The remaining men quickly pulled their horses to a stop and stared at the Ranger.

Halt turned the map around. "Oh, wait... It was left after all."


	2. The Sneakiest Sneak of All the Sneaks

Full Title: The Sneakiest Sneak of All the Sneakers That Ever Were Sneaky

A/N: Four reviews for a measly little chapter like that? I'm elated! Thank you so much, Jackieawesomebookworm2468, The Huntress of the Moon, RoMythe, and ME. This one's for you guys.

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Will grinned as he silently snuck up on Halt. There was no way his mentor would see him this time. He had laid it out perfectly; there was not one thing that could possibly go wrong. His placement was spot on; not a twig snapped or leaf rustled as he swept past.

Halt sipped from his mug of coffee, unaware of his apprentice sneaking towards him a scant ten metres away. Abelard, who was grazing freely nearby, wouldn't give Halt any warning to his master; he recognised Will, and knew he wasn't an enemy.

Moving without a sound, Will moved closer and closer. Just a little further and then-

"Will? What in the blazes are you doing?" Halt looked at his skulking apprentice over the rim of his mug. He froze.

"But... how?" He stuttered uncomprehendingly. He had planned it all out. It should have worked. Hanging his head under Halt's withering gaze, he realised what had gone wrong, and almost slapped himself.

He had forgotten his Ranger's cloak.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Meh. This one didn't come out nearly as well as I thought it would. Anyone of a different opinion, please tell me. :)

-pixie.


	3. Woes of a Teenage Apprentice

Will woke slowly, smothering a yawn with the back of his hand. Pre-dawn light filtered sluggishly through his window. Sleepily, he rubbed his eyes and suddenly, he froze as they snapped open.

Something was wrong.

He wrestled with the sheets that seemed determined to hamper his every move. Falling off the bed with a thump, he scrambled to his dresser, his usually nimble fingers fumbling as he searched for his small mirror. Once finding it, he dropped it in horror at his reflection. He stumbled back a few steps, tripping over his chair and landing with a resounding crash on the floor.

Halt rushed in at the noise and took in the sight of his apprentice sprawled on the floor, a stricken look on his face. "Will, what's wrong?"

He turned his horrified gaze to his mentor and pointed at a small red dot roughly in the centre of his forehead. He looked like he was about to cry. "I have a pimple!"


	4. More Woes of a Teenage Apprentice

A/N: Hey, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was on my boat for three days, and although that was fun, it meant two-second showers or you have no hot water left, which means there was no time for my shower muse to strike. also, no internet or craptop either. But, now I'm home again, and just had a nice, long shower and a nice little muse. Enjoy.

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Will placed a hand on either side of his dresser, frowning at his mirror, brow furrowed. Periodically, both his eyebrows would shoot up, then come back down again, and he would scowl at the mirror for a few seconds before resuming his staring. He stood like this for about five minutes before Halt walked past the door, doing a double-take as he saw his apprentice hunched over the mirror.

"You haven't got another pimple, have you?" he asked wearily.

Will's head jerked up in surprise, then he shook his head. "No."

"What on earth are you doing staring into your mirror, then?"

He reddened slightly. "Trying to raise one eyebrow." He looked put out. "It's not working."


	5. Rogue Knight

A/N: *is snowed under by reviews* Holy crap! 8 reviews for chapter 4! I love you all. Considering the length of the chapters, 8 reviews is just insane... I love insane! *beams* Keep up the craziness, because reviews really help spark my muse... Like with this one. Updated much quicker than usual. :) Enjoy.

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Will quickly pulled an arrow out of his quiver.

"Okay," Halt told him. "One of those men is our spy, and the other is the rogue knight we've been chasing after for about two weeks now. The knight is the one in the red tunic. Ready?" Will nodded, drawing back the bowstring. The arrow released with a twang and shot towards its target.

The spy suddenly dropped to the ground, the end of an arrow shaft poking from his throat. Startled, the knight ran for the trees and was soon swallowed by the forest.

"I told you to shoot the one wearing red!" Halt hissed.

"I did!" Will hissed back.

Halt stared at him for a few seconds.

"... You're colour-blind, aren't you?"


	6. Rogue Knight Part 2

Will quickly pulled an arrow out of his quiver.

"Okay, it took us another two weeks, but we've finally found the rogue knight again. And seeing as we now know you're colour-blind," Halt glared at his apprentice, "we'll do it differently this time. Our spy is on the right, and the rogue knight is on the left. Got it?" Will nodded. "Good. Don't mess it up this time."

Will drew back the bowstring. The arrow released with a twang and shot towards its target.

The spy suddenly dropped to the ground, the end of an arrow shaft poking from his throat. Startled, the knight ran for the trees and was soon swallowed by the forest.

Halt hit his apprentice over the back of the head.

"What?" he complained. "I shot the one on the left!"

Halt stared at him for a few seconds.

Light dawned in Will's eyes. "Ohhhh... It was the other left, wasn't it?"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Hmm, a lot of that sounds suspiciously familiar... :P

-pixie.


	7. Rogue Knight Part 3

Alternative Title: This FanFiction Writer is Entirely Too Lazy to Give This Chapter a Name Other Than Part Three of the Chapter Two Chapters Ago (yeah, can see why I didn't choose this one... Waaaay too long :P)

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Will quickly pulled an arrow out of his quiver.

"Okay, it's been another two weeks, but we found him again. I'm seriously considering killing him myself before go crazy and I kill _you_, but this is part of your training, so you have to shoot him. Got it?" Will nodded, drawing back the bowstring.

Will convulsed unexpectedly just as the arrow released with a twang and shot towards its target.

The spy suddenly dropped to the ground, the end of an arrow shaft poking from his throat. Startled, the knight ran for the trees and was soon swallowed by the forest. Will ignored it as he was too busy wildly flailing his hands around his face, the bow lying forgotten at his feet. After a couple of moments, he stopped his crazy thrashing.

Halt stared at him for a few seconds.

"Sorry." He grinned sheepishly. "A bee landed on my nose."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: *tilts head* anyone else seeing triple yet?


	8. Rogue Knight Part 4

Will quickly pulled an arrow out of his quiver.

"Okay, Will, you utterly incompetent excuse of a Ranger's apprentice, since you have already killed three of them, the other spies decided that they didn't want an arrow sticking out of their throats, so we have no spy. Though that's good, because that means you can't hit anyone else by mistake." He pointed at the rogue knight, sitting under a tree, eating a sandwich. "You better not miss this time, Will." he growled.

Will drew back the bowstring. The arrow released with a twang and shot towards its target.

But not before he sneezed, throwing off his aim. The arrow pierced the rogue knight's sandwich and it flew into the woods. Startled, the knight ran for the trees and was soon swallowed by the forest.

Halt's eye twitched. "You know what, screw this. I'm going home."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Come on, how has no-one figured out yet what I've been doing with the Rogue Knight chapters?

-pixie.


	9. Spellcheck Sucks

A/N: Because it really, truly does. Just a warning: this is by far the stupidest one yet. But it's also the first that features another RA character! *dies of shock*

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Will and Gilan were riding through a suitably dark and scary-looking forest, each riding on Tug and Blaze respectively. They were on yet another quest to get rid of some bandits. You'd think the bandits would get the message after they had had their asses kicked so many times, but they were obviously quite stupid. And, at the moment, so was Will.

"Gilan? Why does you name have a weird squiggly red line under it?"

"Because this fanfiction writer's spell-check is stupid."

"Oh." Will replied. "Why doesn't my name have a red squiggle under it?"

"Because you're stupid."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense. Wait, Gilan. What's a fanfiction writer? And a spell-check? What if the spell-check gave you a squiggly line because it doesn't like you? What then?"

Gilan facepalmed.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: *suddenly revives again* And how did only one person figure out that major portions of the Rogue Knight chapters were exactly the same? Jeez, people, unobservant much? :P Oh and shameless plug time! If you want more stupid spoofiness, check out my story The Mysteries of Wargal Reproduction.

-pixie.


	10. Spellcheck Continues to Suck

Gilan had been trying for the last three hours to explain to Will the concept of FanFiction, and was failing miserably. He now had a red indent on his forehead, where he had been repeatedly slapping himself.

"Oh, I get it!" Will suddenly exclaimed, jumping to his feet and knocking Gilan off the log they had been sitting on. "FanFiction authors are people that write stories on the internet about people like _us_!"

Sighing with relief, Gilan looked up at the sky and whispered, "Thank you."

"So, wait." Gilan cringed. "She - the writer of this FanFiction - can make us do whatever she wants?"

Wearily, he replied, "Yes."

"So... She could make us die?"

"Yes."

"She could make us do something really stupid?"

"Yes."

"She could make some random person fall out of the sky?"

"Yes."

"She could... make you wear rainbow breeches with a pink tutu and heavy mascara while riding a unicorn that's wearing tap shoes?"

Gilan's eyes went wide. "Hey, don't give her any idea-"

Suddenly there was a burst of blue smoke, and once it cleared Gilan found in the exact predicament Will had just suggested. His eyes narrowed.

"I hate you."


	11. Lord Morgy

Morgarath, Lord of the Mountains of Rain and Night, sat disconsolately in his self-imposed exile. He gazed out at the bleak, desolate landscape that had been his home for the past fifteen years. Wargals milled mindlessly bellow him, and to top it off, their annoying, ceaseless chant was giving him a massive migraine. Decidedly bored, Morgarath started angsting. Let's listen in, shall we?

"... And don't think I don't already know I get killed off, that's right, I've read the books. I get killed by a child! That's not exactly the way any big-time villain wants to go, you know! It's embarrassing. And don't get me started on where you lumped me in the first book. I mean, come on! You couldn't have added a little stream or something? Nooo, the great author couldn't possibly give Lord Morgarath that small comfort! And, John Flanagan, what is with 'never a tree or a sign of green to break the monotony'? HOW THE HELL HAVE I FOUND ENOUGH FOOD TO SURVIVE FOR FIFTEEN YEARS IF NOTHING GROWS HERE!"

Okay, methinks we should leave Morgy to his rant now.

"... And don't get me started on that FanFiction website. Why are there so few stories there with me in them? Am I really that bad a character? And almost all the ones I'm in a stupid parody or I'm made to look like an idiot! For all I know, there could be one of those writers watching me right now and writing this all down, and if there is, there's one thing I have to say to them, and that's-"

Yep, definitely leaving.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Hehe, oops. That was closer to 300 words. XD Morgy has too much time on his hands and not a lot to do, so likes to rant. A lot. But I'm sure you guys prefer longer chapters anyway.

-pixie.


	12. Will Still Doesn't Know Left From Right

"Okay Will, geography lesson."

His apprentice only groaned as he dragged himself over to the maps spread out on the table.

To Will, the next half -hour was complete and utter hell. And they were still on the first map.

And there were still about seven more to go.

Halt was starting to lose patience. "Okay, Will," he said slowly. "Which way would you be turning there?"

"It's right, right?"

"No, that's wrong, left."

Will dropped his head in his hands. "I'm so confused."

"Tell you what, why don't you think of it like this: hold out the thumb and forefinger on each hand." Will did as he was told. "Now, whichever one looks like a capital 'L' is left."

Will gaze flicked from on hand to the other, a look of extreme concentration on his face. "Halt?" he said finally. "Which way does a capital 'L' go?"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

Scary thing is, this was modelled on a real life occurrence. *shakes her head at her brother*


	13. What's Luck Got To Do With It?

Halt pushed open the door of his cabin, door hinges creaking as always. "Will, I'm back. I got the coffee." There was no response. "Will?" He quickly dropped the bag of coffee in the kitchen, then set to searching all the rooms of the cabin to find his missing apprentice.

He wasn't in the kitchen, or the living room, or the bathing room, or in his own room. That only left Halt's room. But what would he be doing in there...?

"Will?" He tentatively opened his bedroom door. "You in here?"

The room seemed empty, but then Halt caught sight of a small, shivering, Will-shaped object. "Will, what's wrong this time?"

"It's the thirteenth chapter."

Halt tried and failed to find the logic in Will's statement. "...And?"

Will rolled his eyes. "Thirteen's an unlucky number, so something bad is gonna happen!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Will. Now stop cowering. I got some coffee."

He muttered something under his breath, but got up, the prospect of coffee too much to resist. As he made his way to the door, one of the ceiling beams came loose and hit him, knocking him unconscious.

"Huh..." Halt mused. "Guess you were right after all."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Predictable, I know, but it had to be done.


	14. Prelude: Return of the Sucky Spellcheck

A/N: *coughs because of the dust covering this story* Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! I completely forgot about MtfS! How could I have forgotten about a story for two months?*sweat drop* You'll have to thank Lefty Blondy and HunterOfArtemis17, who favourited and alerted this story respectively, which reminded me I even had it in the first place. This chapter is for them, and any other readers that still remember this story!

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It had taken quite an effort to get the tap-dancing unicorn, who was in fact a transformed Blaze, all the way to Halt's cabin, seeing as how when Will had tried to remove the tap shoes only to find them mysteriously stuck. Gilan had made to dismount and give it a try himself, but found to his chagrin that whatever substance had glued the tap shoes had also glued him to his saddle, as well as his semi-gothic ballerina getup. This resulted in a very uncomfortable and distressing ride for unicorn-Blaze, especially having to climb the stairs of the cabin. Eventually, though, they made it to Halt's door.

He knocked on the door, bracing himself for Halt's reaction to his apparent cross-dressing tendencies and Blaze's transformation into a tap-dancing unicorn. "Halt, are you in? You'll have to come outside if you are. I kind of... won't be able to get through the door."

"What, have you put on so much weight you wouldn't fit?" Halt's voice grew louder, signifying he was approaching the door. "And you accuse me of getting a pot belly..." he trailed off as he saw a miserable-looking Gilan astride the unicornified Blaze."What... Gilan, why are you riding a unicorn and wearing a tutu?"

Will decided to explain. "Gilan and I were riding through the forest, and he was explaining to me what spellcheck and FanFiction is, which took a while, and then the writer kind of took an inadvertent suggestion from me to put Gilan in what he's wearing now and to turn Blaze into a unicorn."

Halt looked confused. "What's a spellcheck? And a FanFiction?"

Gilan facepalmed.

"Oh no, Gilan!" Will cried, visibly distressed. "You're going to smudge your mascara!"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Hehe… this one was almost 300 words, but I suppose that slightly makes up for the long wait. Well, no, it doesn't, but it's the thought that counts, right?

-pixie.


	15. Return of the Sucky Spellcheck

A/N: In a vain attempt to make it up to you guys, I've decided that I'll post a new chapter every day, for however long I remember the muses I came up with and put on my craptop (readers of UA will know the story, but those who don't, here's what's happened: my craptop broke, so I had to take it to the computer guy to get it fixed. That was more than two months ago. Good news, though – he said that it had (finally!) been moved on for repairs and I should have it back in about two weeks. Should probably being the operative word here.), so that totals about five chapters (including this one and the previous one.) If I remember any others, I'll tack those on too. Hope you enjoy.

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"So let me get this straight," Halt said gruffly, still giving Gilan and the unicornified Blaze odd glances, who they'd somehow managed to get through the door and into the kitchen. "This FanFiction writer person is the one in charge of the spellcheck, and she basically can make whatever she wants happen?"

"Basically, yeah."

"So what do this spellcheck actually do?"

"Let me show you." Will pointed to the computer screen. "See, here's a FanFiction about-"

"How did that thing get in here?" Halt touched the screen tentatively. "Is it magic?"

"I don't know. Just ignore the plot holes. Anyway-"

"Ha!" Gilan shouted triumphantly. "Will's name has a green line under it! So does Halt's, strangely enough. Wonder what it means."

Morgarath suddenly strode in. "It means that it doesn't think their names are supposed to have capital first letters, because will and halt are actual words. And furthermore proves its own stupidity."

"Where'd you come from? Aren't you supposed to be dead? Horace killed you."

"Why are you wearing mascara and a tutu in an era where they haven't been invented yet? Like the small annoying child said. Ignore to plot holes. Now move and let me use the computer." He pushed the stunned Rangers out of the way. A few seconds later, he shouted, "WHAT? My name does NOT sound like Margaret! Stupid spellcheck!" Angrily, he tossed down the keyboard, which had also somehow appeared. Halt, now recovered from his shock, stabbed Morgarath, who quickly died.

"That's better. But it still leaves us with Gilan in that ridiculous outfit. Oh well. Who wants to play cards?"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Okay, so not strictly a shower muse, seeing as I was at my computer laughing at the fact that my spellcheck was trying to change Morgarath into about four different feminine names, but I was _supposed_ to be in the shower, and that's close enough, right?

And yeah, this one was closer to 300 words too. Oh well.

-pixie.


	16. A Watched Kettle Never Boils

A/N: Aww, no one reviewed for the last chapter! *sniffles* :(

Also, *le gasp* this one's actually within word limit! *dies of shock… again*

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The rusty hinges on the cabin door creaked as Halt re-entered the cabin, only for him to find Will staring at the kettle intently. Slightly worried about his apprentice's mental health, considering the amount of times that Halt had found him staring at inanimate objects, he asked warily, "Will, other than having gone insane, do you have any particular reason for staring at the kettle?"

He didn't look away as he replied, "I'm just trying to see if the saying 'a watched kettle never boils' is actually true or not."

Halt raised an eyebrow. "Have you got anywhere with that yet?"

Will surprised him by answering with, "Yes, actually. I've spent the last hour watching the kettle, and nothing's happened yet."

A bit impressed that Will had been able to spend that long at it without giving up, yet puzzled as to why the kettle hadn't boiled in that time, Halt walked over to the kettle. He gave it a critical look, and then rolled his eyes to the heavens. "Will, whenever you're boiling something, it always helps to light the stove."


	17. Laws of Nature

A/N: *beams happily at reviews* That's better! Well, here you go, yet another stupid-humour-filled MtfS chapter.

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Staring intently in front of him, Will swore to himself he was going to figure it out, no matter how long it took.

Glancing in his apprentice's direction, Halt sighed. "You're not still going at it, are you? It's been three hours. Just drop it, Will. It's against the laws of nature for it to work."

"Who says?" he asked, not tearing his eyes away from the puzzle confronting him.

"I do, for one. And I think you'll be surprised by the amount of people who would agree with me."

"Shows what you know," he muttered rebelliously.

Halt rolled his eyes to the heavens but otherwise ignored the teen's remark. "Actually, I'm surprised you hadn't already given up. You really can't win this one though."

He persisted in his struggle, wincing with the strain. "Against the laws of nature, Will." Halt told him again.

Giving it one last vain try, Will sighed, then dropped his hands and scowled at his reflection. "Halt, can you please try and get the comb out of my hair?"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Come on, you all knew it was a matter of time before I made a crack at Will's hair! :P

-pixie.


	18. Money Issues

A/N: Well, this is the last one of the muses I could remember, so unless I get new muses or remember old ones before I get my craptop back, it'll be about two weeks until the next update.

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King Duncan sighed, troubled, as he gazed at the interior of the room that contained the royal treasury. He remembered the days when he had delighted in seeing a ripple of gold, silver and bronze, light bouncing and reflecting and magnifying off the coins to create a sight that dazzled the eyes. The wealth accumulated there proved the prosperousness of his country. Any king would have been proud of a treasure chamber that glittered as brightly as his did. But this was a pleasure now denied to him.

"What is wrong, my Lord?" the pompous treasurer, Samuel, asked.

"Look at this," he replied, waving a hand disgustedly at the room in front of them. It's terrible. This is one of the worst money problems I've had in my entire rule."

Samuel looked confused. "My Lord, are you sure you're alright? The treasury is almost overflowing, it's so full."

"That's where the heart of the problem. I have so much money now, I don't know what to do with it."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Eh, not as funny as ironic, I think. Kind of anti-climactic, really. Sorry 'bout that.

-pixie.


	19. Nature Strikes Back

A/N: *triumphant music* Yay, my craptop has returned! I was finally able to get it back off the craptop guy at school. It had to get a whole new screen casing, seeing as the parts attached to the hinges had snapped. So now it's *shiny* :D (Okay, yes, that was over six months ago. I have no real excuse. But hey, at least I'm posting chapters again!)

Ahem. Anyway, that means I've got all the ideas I wrote down back! I'll post a new muse every day until I exhaust the list. There's seven or so of them, so that's something to look forward to. Enjoy!

.:':. .:':. .:':.

Halt sighed contentedly and settled into his favourite chair, coffee mug in one hand and Ranger missive in the other. Will had been unable to find anything to break or freak out about for at least ten minutes, and Halt was taking advantage of the quiet. But all good things come to an end.

Will pounded into the room, hair even more tousled than usual. His skin had gone almost unnaturally pale.

Sighing again, this time exasperatedly, Halt set down the paper. "What now?"

The words came out in a panicked rush. "Myhairatemycomb."

Once he had deciphered Will's words, he smirked. "Hasn't this happened before?"

"No." His voice was an unnervingly high pitch. "My hair _snarled_ when I tried to comb it, and then it _ate the comb_."

Halt blanched. There were two possibilities: Will's hair had somehow become sentient, or a small, vicious animal had taken up residency there. He didn't know which was more likely. "You're a smart boy." He said eventually. "You deal with it."

Will sulked and stomped back to his room. Smiling to himself, Halt went back to his missive.

The sound of screaming suddenly filled the cabin. Halt groaned. So much for peace and quiet.


	20. A Formibible Foe

A/N: Whoo! Broke 100 reviews! *squeezes you all in a death-hug* Thank you so much to everyone who reviews/favourites/alerts this story. It's what helps get me motivated to post new stuff here. Love you all!

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"_Die, fiend!_" Will howled.

He spun, lunging towards his enemy, who nimbly darted out of his grasp. Face set in a scowl, Will ranged across the clearing, his knives somehow never making contact with his agile foe. Halt watched despairingly from the edge of the clearing, eyes peeking out between his fingers, unable to do anything.

Suddenly, Gilan materialised, unnoticed, at the edge of the glade - an amazing feat, seeing as he was still wearing the rainbow breeches - and made his way over to the hunched form of Halt. "Hello, Halt!" he called, cheerily enough.

"Oh, hello Gilan. Still got those breeches on, eh? How'd you get everything else off?"

Gilan's face darkened. "You don't want to know." He glanced over at Will. "What exactly is he doing?"

The apprentice in question chose that moment to launch himself towards to two Rangers. "Gilan, out of the way!" He shouted, waving his daggers like a madman. Something small flitted in front of Gilan's face as he dove to the side, and Halt shook his head sadly as his apprentice bounded off and followed the flittering shape, knives slashing crazily. Gilan stood, slowly comprehending the situation but not really believing it.

"Halt? Is he _really_ chasing a butterfly?" Halt nodded, face in hands.

"For three hours, counting."

Gilan settled back onto the ground, grinning. "Well, might as well stay and enjoy the show."

"_Perish, beast!_"


	21. Moat Gloating

Crowley peered curiously at the King, who was grinning like a schoolboy. "There was something you wished to show me, your Majesty?" Duncan nodded, his smile growing impossibly wider.

"Come look at _this_," he breathed, motioning the Corps Commandant forward. He quickly obliged, moving to peer over the parapet. A deep trench, several metres deep, stretched at the front of the castle and disappeared around the edge of the base of the battlements.

"Ah, you finally got that moat finished."

The king's eyes shone with glee. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"It's certainly impressive." Crowley was still looking over the edge of the parapet, a small frown forming. Something didn't seem right.

"Of course it is!" Duncan boasted. "It's quite possibly the best moat ever! The workers are going to release water from the river into at any moment." Almost as if on cue, a flood of water rushed into the trench, filling it. "There!" the king crowed. "Isn't that just great?"

Unfortunately, it was then that Crowley realised what it was that had felt wrong. "I'm afraid not, your Majesty."

Duncan's eyebrows dropped into a scowl. "You dare insult my moat?"

Crowley shook his head. "No. It just that you forgot to install a drawbridge. Everyone's now stuck in the castle."

Duncan craned his neck to look over the parapet to see for himself. "Damn. I knew I was forgetting something."


	22. Wardmates

A/N: Warning: Slight spoilers for book 10.

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The sound of a blade humming in deadly arcs permeated the air as George made his way to the training ground to talk to the knight practicing there. "How are you?" he called. "I need to talk to you for a moment."

Horace let his sword slow at the end of a swing, bringing it to rest in the parade position. "I'm good, thank you. How may I help you? I'm Horace, by the way." He extended a hand out to George, who looked at it in stupefaction.

"What?"

"What, what?" Horace replied, now confused.

"I'm George."

Horace nodded, dropping his hand. "Nice to meet you."

George's jaw dropped. "You don't remember me? We were at Redmont's ward together! You know, Jenny, Alyss, Will, me?"

Sheathing his sword, Horace tapped his bottom lip with one finger, a look of intense concentration on his brow. Suddenly, his face cleared. "Nope. Don't remember."

George exploded. "I took an arrow to the arm for you less than a year ago! I saved your _life_!"

"What did you say your name was again?"

George scowled, looming at Horace, an impressive feat seeing as he was over a head shorter than the warrior. Then, he turned his heel and strode back towards the castle.

"Wait!" Horace shouted after him. "Didn't you say you needed to talk to me about something? What was it?"

He turned, smiling sarcastically. "You know what? I can't remember."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: I'm not sure if it was really clear or not, so just for anyone who might be confused, I'm poking fun at George for almost never being mentioned after the first book, then suddenly reappearing and saving Horace's life in book 10.

-pixie.


	23. Silent as the Night

Silent as the night, the intruder slipped into the room. That in itself is a stupid phrase, seeing as the night is fairly noisy. Insects chirp incessantly, nocturnal animals call into the night and some people snore really loudly.

Anyway, the intruder was inside. His keen eyes zeroed in on the target of his thievery and he moved to take his prize.

His fine-tuned hearing picked up the sounds of someone large storming angrily towards the room, interspersed with the lighter, anxious patter of another, smaller person. The thief leapt into a hiding place as the door slammed open.

"-Wouldn't have happened!" roared a chubby, balding man. "How it could be so difficult for them?" He fumed and paced across the room, ignoring the pleas of his smaller companion. Finally, she gave up and slumped in a nearby chair, waiting for the man to calm down.

The thief suddenly recognised them. "Jenny?" he whispered.

Startled, the plump blonde spun around. "Will?" She hissed as he moved towards her. "What are you doing?" She glanced back at Chubb, but he was raving and hadn't noticed anything.

He grinned sheepishly. "I was liberating some pies."

"Will!"

"What's got Chubb in a twist?"

"Oh, that." She waved a hand dismissively. "The kitchen's understaffed because he keeps putting kitchen apprentices in the infirmary by hitting them too hard with his ladle. Also," she continued conversationally as Will became increasingly paler, "He's broken his stock of ladles for the month, so now he's using whatever's on hand to stir soup and hit lazy workers. Like rolling pins." She cast another fleeting look in Chubb's direction, but he was still absorbed in his tirade. Will took the opportunity to rush over to the window and clamber out. No pie was worth facing Chubb in a rage like this.


	24. Permission

Halt and Pauline were deep in conversation when there was a persistent knocking on the door. "Sorry, Pauline," Halt sighed. "Let me get that."

He opened the door to see his apprentice nearly bouncing with excitement on the doorstep. "Ah, Will, you're back. Did you-" He stopped as Will dashed into the room and bounded up to Pauline.

"You were right, Lady Pauline! It's here!"

She smiled delightedly. "That's wonderful!"

"Can we go?"

"If you can convince Halt to let you."

Will turned to his mentor, who was thoroughly confused. "Can we go, Halt? Please?"

Halt looked helplessly at Pauline. "Go? Go where?"

He rolled his eyes, like it should have been obvious. "The circus is visiting Wensley village. Duh. Now, can we go?"

"Will, do you even know what a circus _is_?"

The teen paused. "Well, no," he replied hesitantly, but then his enthusiasm returned. "But Lady Pauline said they're basically travelling Harvest Day performers! Come on, we have to go!" Tears filled his eyes at the prospect of missing such an obviously fun-filled event.

"Well, you have been doing exceptionally well with your training recently. I suppose you could take a day off to see the circus. But we'll be doing extra training the day after, understood?"

"Yay! Thanks Halt!" Will tackled the Ranger with a hug, nearly knocking him over. Then, he rushed out the door again, presumably to tell his friends he was going.

Halt smiled fondly after his apprentice. Pauline moved to his side. "You do realise this means you're going as well, don't you?"

"_What?_"


	25. Cirque de Scarie

A/N: Woo! A quarter way through! *party blowers* See, I intend for this story to have at least 100 chapters. I know it'll be slow going, but I really want to get there. A quarter of the way is a milestone. I should get a medal. *nods sagely*

.:':. .:':. .:':.

"Wow, look at that, Halt! And _that_! Ooh, what's that man doing?" Will let loose a nonstop stream of conversation whilst simultaneously darting around the circus grounds like a hyperactive butterfly. Halt rubbed at his temples. He still wasn't sure how he'd gotten roped into going along, though he was pretty sure it had something to do with Pauline's insistence that he should come along.

"You know, this isn't doing my enigmatic Ranger image much good," he grumbled to her now.

She smiled indulgently. "Oh, stop worrying about your 'image' and have some fun."

He gave a small snort of derision. _At an event where the entertainment acts like they're crazy for a living? Unlikely._

"Halt!" Will suddenly reappeared in front of his mentor. "Can I please have some money to by a candied apple? They just look so delicious and the other children eating them look like they're enjoying them so much and... Halt?" He trailed off as the Ranger went white as a sheet, pointing a trembling finger across the fairground. "What's wrong?" He followed Halt's stricken gaze, uncomprehending. What could it possibly be that had Halt, an indomitable figure of legend, so scared that he was shaking?

Finally, Halt whispered two words that made it all make sense.

"Scary clown."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Over the Hedge, anyone?

-pixie.


	26. Food for Thought

The ride so far had been quiet; Will, for once, didn't have a million questions that urgently needed answering, and Halt was enjoying the momentary peace. Will, of course, was uncomfortable with unnecessary silences, and felt the need to fill the conversational void.

"You know Halt, over the years, you've become something of a father to me."

Halt jumped at his apprentice's sudden words, shifting in his seat. He cleared his throat cautiously, and Will shot him a curious glance. "Halt? Is something wrong?"

Turning his head to look back up the empty path, the grizzled Ranger sighed. "Will, there's something I should have told you a while ago..." Fangirls crowded eagerly in the bushes, waiting on what they were sure Halt's next words would be.

Will sat up straight in his saddle. Had the entire story of Daniel been a lie? "Do you mean..."

His mentor nodded resignedly. "Yes. I forgot to pack any food for the trip."

"Oh. Wait, _what_?"

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: Well, this the last of the muses that I had stacked up, hope you enjoyed. I'm back at school now, so updates for both this and Myriad Memories will be less frequent - though somehow I see this story lapsing into a dormant status again. It's so much harder to come up with stuff for a story without a plotline. DX

On another note, the school took our craptops to fix some of their crappiness before the warranty runs out, and we don't get them back for another 3-4 weeks. Updates will probably be very infrequent until I get it back, because the desktop doesn't have the program I use to write stories, so I can't access any of my files, and I can't exactly curl up with it on my bed to type (for some reason, I always write best when I'm tucked up in bed. It's weird.) I apologise in advance for those future delays.

Until then,

-pixie.


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